"I see through u."
This was the last sentence of a message that I received from someone that I had thought of highly. We disagreed on something that I felt was a big deal. I tried to be clear, honest and direct. Not in a hateful way, not in arrogant way... I just questioned what had happened, and asked for it to stop. The "I see through u" line was meant to be a stinging barb to sum up that he knew my game, knew what I was thinking, had my number.
That person is wrong... I have no game.
A long time ago, I met someone else that changed the way I noticed things and it stuck with me. It was a nothing comment on a nothing Saturday, but it had an impact on me. I remember it with such clarity. Basically, it was this naked moment that held such beautiful honesty, that I wanted to be more like that, and to have more and more of that quality in my life.
What we do have is tons of people out there who have a game. There's an agenda to how they do things, who they associate with, how they behave.
I really try to not be that kind of person. Ever.
I wear my heart of my sleeve. I put it all out there to be either cherished or trampled on. Sometimes the results aren't pretty. The great part is that when people value that about me, I foster truly meaningful relationships. The downside, of course, is that I get hurt.
But as I get older, I'm appreciating those that really care for me more and more. I'm also getting better at dealing with the expectations I have of people and the disappointments that sometimes happen.
So if this sounds something like you, here are some links to things that had an influence on me...
This first one has nothing to do with photography and everything to do with living life openly.
Since this is a blog written by a photographer, and is read by people that are sometimes photographers, check out the next link... The film "Transform" that he shows begins at 17:45 but the entire talk is worth listening to.
I don't fake it until I make it. I'm clear about what I can and can't do. What I'm comfortable with and what I'm not.
I don't fill your news feed daily with an endless stream of blah, blah, blah so that you don't forget about me for a single second. If I post, I hope to add value to your life in some regard. Whether it's this blog, my images, something great that I came across... How can I give back to others?
I don't have a game.
So you think you can see through me?
Man, I hope so... Because if you take away your own agenda or preconception, you'll see that I'm an honest man trying to do thoughtful work. My integrity level is set to high, and I can't change that, nor would I ever want to.